How to Help Your Loved Ones Feel Better During the Holidays:

Keep with routine. Consider what time you serve and end the meal or festivities. If it’s too late in the evening or far outside their routine, you could run into sundowners. Keeping routines is crucial for loved ones with disabilities. Try an early dinner to accommodate their schedule. It will set them up for success today and into the next day.

Create a quiet space. A power nap might be the perfect opportunity to recharge. Providing a cozy, safe, and quiet place for them to rest, reset, and work through an episode of anxiety might allow them to recharge. Being prepared for all scenarios can set the day up for success. Encourage participation. Including your loved one in small tasks such as meal prep, setting the table, or contributing to domestic activities helps them feel needed and valuable. It will likely make their month to participate instead of only watching.

Offer options. Give them the opportunity to make their own decisions such as offering them white meat, dark meat, potatoes with or without gravy? If they haven’t preferred gravy in the past, but request gravy today, there is no need to dispute it. Tastes change, habits change, and that’s ok. Give them the gravy. Today is about going with the flow! If you think of it before the big day, ask them to pick a favorite dish they’d like to have. It would make them happy to share a preference or opinion.

Go with the flow. Today is about making it fun. Never remind them of what they don’t like or what they don’t prefer. They may not remember their past preferences and this discouragement will only make them feel bad. It’s scary and hard enough not remembering their own memories. Let’s support them and bring positive encouragement to the day. It will make the day more manageable for everyone.

A Gentle Approach. Instead of offering solutions outright, consider opening the door to dialogue with a “what if” approach. For example, ask questions like, “What would you do if there was an unexpected diagnosis or accident?” These discussions create an opportunity to explore solutions without pressuring your loved one. Isolation, for instance, can be a silent destroyer, leading to depression and a diminished quality of life.

If a loved one seems withdrawn, lonely, or uninspired, these may be signs to check-in. Start with simple, compassionate questions:
● How have things been going lately?
● What do you enjoy doing during the day?
● Have you felt inspired to cook or try new activities?

Overcoming Resistance. It’s natural to encounter some resistance. Change can be intimidating, and discussing potential challenges might feel daunting. However, framing the conversation as “preparing for the unforeseen” can reduce defensiveness. If pushback arises, be patient. Sometimes, these conversations find a more receptive audience during significant events, like a hospital stay or rehab, when change becomes unavoidable.