How long does it take to adjust to catered/assisted living? The truth is, it varies. It may take as little as a week to feel comfortable. Many experts suggest it can take as long as three months.
Most, on average roughly 30 days to form a routine and get to the point this feels la lot like home. – The transition, whatever it is, really is normal. Think about how long it takes for you to
get used to things. Routines are not easy to establish, but after 30 days, it feels like something that has always been there. I find this especially for those with various forms of cognitive decline.

If your loved one is immediately ready to turn around and go home, this is normal, encourage them to give it some time. For years, when I would visit my grandma, she wanted to leave with
me. “Get me out of here” she would say. But she would win bingo all the time and when I wasn’t there there were pictures of her smiling and having fun.
No matter your age, change is a challenge. Circle back to their pain point. What is it that they don’t like, other than it’s not home?” Depending on cognition home can mean a lot of things.
You can also engage with the community’s staff to learn about appealing events. Encourage your parent to go to a fitness class, go on an outing or find a group with similar interests.
Moving your body, and an activity is a quick way to alter moods, and make friends.

Lean in on a favorite past time. That will also bring joy, and bring to focus to access and purpose. It alters moods and brings on endorphins. Make sure they are signed up! It is confusing at first.

Are you around too much…or maybe just a lot? 

While frequent visits early on may seem like you’re being supportive, you could be holding your parent back. They may opt out of events and opportunities to interact with their new neighbors
in anticipation of your visit.

Conversely, never visiting or calling may make your parent feel abandoned and confirm any apprehensions they may have had about the move in the first place.
Being there every day can give the signal that you think something is wrong, and you’re not trusting the environment for them to want to go back home. At the same time, you can’t just
drop them off and drive away and go. Somewhere in between is ideal,” Ward advises. Instead of frequent in-person visits, consider weekly phone calls and an occasional visit for lunch or dinner during the first 30 days. Make sure to check in with the community director as well to address any issues or strategies for adjustment. Circle back on concerns.

After the first month, reach out to close family members and ask them to visit and call as well. Your parent may not be completely adjusted yet, but they may have positive things to talk
about, like a new friendship or an event they really enjoyed. They also may just vent. It’s helpful when you have information about what they have been doing to remind them of the activities.
By the second or third month, the community will feel familiar, and your parent typically feel more comfortable. Encourage visitors to ask for a tour of your parent’s apartment and the
community, or to stay for coffee or attend one of the daily events.

Decorate with special items
One of the best ways to make their new home feel familiar is to decorate it with cherished items that represent your parent and what they care about. Their favorite piece of furniture or
work of art, a special heirloom, family pictures and homemade crafts from grandchildren can all add warmth and personality to a senior apartment. Hang pictures, use special quilts.
To put the finishing touches on their new space, take your parent shopping. While they may be reluctant to leave a long-time home, there may have been things they’d always wanted to
update. A move offers an opportunity to replace items with something fresh – that still reflects their style.

Fur Babies
If your parent has a beloved pet, look into the community’s pet policy to see if they can make the move as well. If your parent’s cat or dog has been left in your care, bring them with you
from time to time when you visit. If there is a particular comfort food your parent loves, consider talking to the community’s chef about adding that item to the menu as one of their daily specials. Possibly include this (and other items) as part of the snacks in the apartment as well.

Everyone has good days and bad days
Every day will not be easy, nor will every day be a struggle – and that’s normal. Likely, you will both need time to process the change. It’s better for your parent to have an occasional bad day
where they are safe, cared for and in great company rather than being home where their well- being may be at risk.

It’s about making sure they understand you’re doing this for them and not to them. The move is to ensure they’re healthy, happy, independent and thriving. If you are having trouble managing
a conflict with your parent, as well as experiencing feelings of guilt and frustration, consider leaning on a friend, spouse or counselor for support. The communities and caregivers can also
help be an advocate. And rest assured that those challenging days won’t last forever. As time goes on, many witness their parent becoming happier and healthier at a community – and the
transition may help restore the parent-child relationship you once knew. (Less “bossing around”, more fun)

Some people initially respond by not accepting phone calls or ignoring their loved ones in protest. Especially when this there is beginning cognition challenges. Usually, half way through the month, they start participating and making friends. It’s a blessing to watch unfold for many. They have a life and enjoyment they didn’t know was possible.